How Men Can be Friends after Getting Friendzoned
You might have certain romantic feelings for someone, however, they insist on being friends with you as they cannot reciprocate those feelings. This has perhaps happened with every man on this planet, somewhere down the line and they have been ‘friendzoned’ by someone they like or even loved, for that matter.
Being friends with someone you like or love is certainly the hardest thing a man has had to do as they are not able to express their love or care, and even end up seeing the other person with another man. It can truly be torturous for anybody. However, you cannot force the other person to like you back; you have to respect them and be friends if you still want to remain close to them.
Although you want to be friends with them, there are certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. If you are expecting that one day they will come around and be with you, you are only day dreaming and eventually will hurt yourself. If you really want to be good friends with them, we have a few tips for you that will help you be great friends with them, without a doubt. Have a look:
Stop Overthinking
Sure, one sided love hurts a lot and can lead to sleepless nights for a long time. You don’t think when you fall in love, do you? However, thinking of yourself as the victim here will be the worst thing to do. Apart from that, it is not your friend’s fault that they don’t have romantic feelings for you.
Most men start overthinking while listening to sad songs as well as eating tubs of ice cream to dissolve their pain or end up getting overhyped by their friends. We know that it’s only natural to feel sad when you are not loved back by the person you love. However, overthinking will take your mind to negative places. All this negativity can lead to feelings of anxiety as well as depression. So it is better to hold yourself rather than feeling like a victim.
Distance Yourself from Them
When you have confessed your feelings to them or not, you already know that they have no romantic feelings for you and only want to remain friends with you. And although you want to be friends with them as well, you definitely need some time away from them to straighten up yourself.
This doesn’t mean that you can stalk their Instagram. It means you need to stop talking about how much you want them in your life or how perfect they are for you. If you still stay clingy to them, it will only come off as pathetic and we know you don’t want that to happen.
The fact that being rejected even by our best friend can be very overbearing. Your heart and you need some time off to figure out your priorities and let yourself grieve the loss of love. Grieving is important in the process of moving on.
Don’t Appear too Needy
Sure, you might be dying to text them and start a conversation, but now that you are in the friendzone, it will only appear as if you are a clingy or a needy person. Now that they know about your feelings, they might be even feeling sorry for you as well. However, you need to change the circumstances.
Texting first might not be a good idea, however, you can always reply to their texts to make sure that you remain friends with them. You don’t need their sympathy; you need their friendship and both are different. It is important to start feeling independent and on your own rather than depending on them.
Apart from that, don’t act desperate and stop initiating things. They will reach out to you at the right time.
Don’t Make Your Decisions Based on Them
Perhaps you want to study World Literature, however, they are opting to study Chemistry. And the first thing you do is choose Chemistry as your Major rather than World Literature just to be with them. Although it is just an example, many men do such things to be with the one they love but have been friendzoned by them.
One of their hopes is that they will be able to win the other person while they spend time with them. However, they should realise that they should behave as a friend rather than focusing on getting the other person as a partner. Apart from that, rash decisions about their life should not be made on the choices of the other person. They should be made according to their own choices. Also, understand that when someone has said no to you, it is your responsibility to accept their decisions. Our Bollywood movies have given us all the concept that even when someone says no, if you keep pursuing them they will just say yes. The reality is pursuing someone after getting rejected is just creepy and is called ‘stalking’ not a ‘happy ending’.
Don’t Have Expectations
When you are not in a relationship with the other person, having expectations from them can really hurt, whether small or big. Don’t expect them to make grand gestures for you on your birthday when you have been friendzoned. It will be enough if they just give you something small.
Apart from that, you cannot expect them to call or text you all the time, when perhaps they might not be even thinking about you that much. You need to realise that their world doesn’t revolve around you and give them the space they need as well.
Respect Their Choices
So your friend didn’t fall in love with you the way you did with them and has no romantic feelings for you. Does that mean you won’t respect their choice as a friend? A true friend always respects their friend’s choices, no matter what they are (unless illegal) and is selfless in a friendship. If you want to be a true friend with them, you need to respect their choices and be selfless.
If they decide to date another man, you need to support that, rather than sabotaging their relationship by bad mouthing them or back bitching about them or their partner. If you do so, eventually the truth will come out and they will break their friendship with you. It is better to be a friend rather than being a villain of their relationship.
Get Back to the Dating Game
If you want to be friends with the other person, you also need to move on in life and get rid of all the romantic feelings you had for them. This can easily happen when you get back into the dating field. You can either meet someone in person, or through dating apps and find someone who likes you back rather than being in a one sided relationship.
Don’t Flirt with Them
Healthy flirting is always acceptable but once they know about your feelings towards them, it is better not to flirt with them. While some men end up flirting with the other person thinking that it will initiate a dating scene, it is a huge turn off and can even make them stay away from you for the same reason.
Conclusion
Anyone can fall in love with their friend and while some friends often fall in love with each other and even end up getting married, it is not the case with everyone. You can have romantic or sexual feelings for someone but they might not have the same feelings for you. They might just consider you a friend and nothing more.
While being friends with someone you like or love is a huge decision and not everyone is able to do so, it can be done if you take the above right steps. If you want to remain close to that special person, the above given steps will take you to the right track of being friends with them.
However, while you are friends with them, you need to be careful about a few things. Remember that they don’t owe you anything as you are not in a relationship. You need to be selfless in this friendship and no matter how much you showcase your affection, do not expect that they will portray it back as well, whether they do it or not.
Apart from that, never be possessive about them as they are only your friend. Whether they are going out on a date or out for drinks with their girlfriends, never stalk them or keep on calling them to know where they are. No friend is supposed to do that and it can exhibit a very bad image of yours in their eyes.
Although you can be friends with the person who friendzoned you, they might even try to take advantage of you. They might lead you on in the hope that there is a chance of you winning them and make you do their jobs, such as running errands, buying groceries, and other things. Make sure that you do not end up getting taken advantage of. Be in your rightful mind.
Apart from that, if it is getting too painful to see them with someone else or you cannot be just friends with them, it will be fine staying away from them. No certain relationship is needed with that person in such cases.
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