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How a Man can Build His Self Esteem

When we talk about the self esteem of a man, it is about how a man feels about himself or what are his opinions about himself. While most men think that self esteem is their inner voice which tells them whether they are good enough to do something or not, the truth is that self esteem is about how we value ourselves as well as what are our perceptions of ourselves and what are we capable of achieving.

Men who have a good self esteem feel positive about themselves as well as about their life. This makes them much more resilient and they are able to handle the ups and downs in their lives. Every man goes through times when they are at their lowest and find it hard to believe in themselves. However, if it becomes a long term process, it can create a lot of problems for a man, such as mental health issues like depression as well as anxiety.

Men with low self esteem are quite critical of themselves and find it very hard to bounce back from challenges as well as setbacks. Such men often avoid difficult situations which further decreases their self esteem and makes them feel worse about themselves. If you are tired of feeling bad about yourself and want to build your self esteem, we might be able to help you out.

Be Kind to Yourself

All this while you might have been criticising yourself for slipping up or making a mistake during work or at home. You might be being very hard on yourself and the truth is that in order to build your self esteem you need to be nice as well as kind to yourself. After all, to err is human. Anyone can make a mistake and they are allowed to do so.

So even if you do make a mistake and that little voice inside you starts bringing in all those negative thoughts, challenge it and be kind towards yourself. If you have made any sort of mistake, you might have also achieved something as well. In order to challenge these negative thoughts try to write down all the things that you like about yourself.

It might be hard in the beginning as you might think that there is nothing good about you. However, once you start thinking in depth, you will find a lot of good qualities about yourself that you had once never thought about.

Working Out

Often people who have poor self esteem are the ones who are couch potatoes and do not exercise a lot. In order to bring back your self esteem, get back on those two feet and start working out. You could go to the local gym, go for a jog or join a hot yoga class. Do whatever you prefer to do when it comes to working out.

Workout is essential as it increases motivation as well as builds your confidence while setting goals for you. Apart from that, as you sweat during the workout, your body releases endorphins, the feel good hormones which help in building your self esteem.

Build Positive Relationships

When it comes to building your self esteem, it is quite important that you only include the positive people in your life. There should not be any negativity in your life such as people who try to pull you down by bringing in negative thoughts in your mind. Make sure that you only build positive relationships with people who try to upgrade you as well as bring in positivity in your life.

Whether they are your friends or your partner, try to cut off from those people who are negative and bring negativity in your life. Such people will never let you build your self esteem as they will always try to pull you down with their negative talk as well as comments.

Do What Makes You Happy

While others might be expecting a lot of things from you, you don’t owe anything to them, whether they are your friends or your family. Sit down and relax for a while, thinking about what makes you happy and do that. If you don’t want to go to that family dinner and instead want to watch a movie with your friends, do that.

Love to watch Netflix rather than going out shopping with your friends? Well, do that! It doesn’t matter what you want to do, you should only do what makes you happy and not something that others expect you to do.

Don’t Worry about What Others Think

Often men with poor self esteem keep thinking about what others will think about them while making a decision. They keep second guessing their decision about anything and are always in doubt. The truth is that if you keep worrying about what others will think about you, then you will never feel free to be completely yourself.

You need to stop worrying about what others think about you and make your decisions according to what you want from life, not what others want from you. This is the way you will be able to feel free, especially mentally, by not caring about what others think about you.

Celebrate Every Achievement

While you have been criticising yourself all this while for every mistake you made, you might have forgotten about your achievements. Whether you made amazing scrambled eggs or got a huge promotion at work, all these achievements are a must to celebrate in order to build your self esteem. Read a whole book in just two days? You must celebrate it with a glass of red wine just for yourself. Cooked a whole meal for your family? It is important to celebrate that as well.

Whether these are small or big achievements, they are definitely worth celebrating. You could go for a nice spa treatment or treat yourself by ordering your favourite pepperoni pizza. No matter how you celebrate it, never forget to celebrate your achievements.

Self Care

Men with low self esteem often forget about self care in their life, not taking showers for days as well as wearing shabby clothes at the same time, not taking care about their appearance. The truth is that when you stop caring about yourself, your self esteem itself decreases.

In order to grow or build your self esteem, you must start taking care about your appearance as well as take care of yourself. Start taking showers on a daily basis as well as wear good clothes that make you appear good so that you feel good from the inside as well as confident.


There can be a variety of reasons for why a man is dealing with low self esteem. However, it has often been found that it begins in childhood itself, when a boy is not able to live up to his parents’ expectations. Apart from that, it can be caused due to difficult relationships, whether at work or in the personal life of a man. If a man has been a victim of domestic violence or abuse, he might be dealing with poor self esteem as well.

The above given steps will certainly assist you in building your self esteem, however, it won’t happen overnight. It will certainly take you a lot of time in building your self esteem and in the beginning you might not even like to follow these steps. You might feel that you don’t like anything about yourself and might even try to restrain yourself from exercising as well. However, once you become consistent with these steps you will be able to build your self esteem as well.

In the beginning, you need to start practising positive self talk instead of criticising yourself. ‘I am doing as good as I can’, ‘I am making good progress’, ‘I can easily score well in this exam’. Such kind of self-talk is positive as well as can motivate you in life to do better.

However, you need to practise self talk as it won’t be easy for you if you are used to negative self-talk. It won’t be easy to change your negative self-talk into a positive one and you will have to practise a lot. But negative self-talk will only make you believe that you are unable to take control of your life, however, positive self-talk will make you believe that you are able to take control of your life.

Self-talk is the basic foundation of building your self esteem. If your self-talk is negative then your self esteem is bound to get low or poor. However, if your self-talk is positive, your self esteem will certainly be high.

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