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What to do when his love language is physical touch

If you ask every man on the street, it’s a safe bet that the majority will say that physical touch is their preferred mode of communication.That might be true or it might not be; according to Dr. Gary Chapman in “The Five Love Languages,” many men interpret their desire for sex as a sign that they value physical touch as a form of communication. But even if physical touch isn’t always a sign of affection, many men report that receiving physical touch from their partner makes them feel loved the most. Palak Sharma takes it upon herself to uncover the truth regarding this and to advise the readers on how to tackle the act of physical touch with their partner.

A person can experience or receive love in five different ways, according to Dr. Chapman, including through words of affirmation, physical touch, spending time with others, getting presents, and performing acts of service. The first step in understanding how to correctly communicate your love to your partner is to understand how he receives it. Nothing is worse than feeling as though your lover doesn’t really care when you make loving gestures.

It’s tempting for men to associate physical contact with sex right away. But when I learned more about the different love languages, I realized that physical touch encompasses much more than just sex. Furthermore, the “love tank” of your physical contact guy won’t be filled by sex alone (as Dr. Chapman calls it). A physical touch guy needs to experience nonsexual forms of love as well.

Here are five suggestions for making your physical contact boyfriend feel appreciated after setting the sensual stuff aside.

1. Initiate touching

It’s annoying to have to express your desires for love to your partner all the time; you sometimes wish they just knew. Having a discussion with your guy about love languages is obviously beneficial so that you both understand the best ways to show affection. But after that, it’s crucial to start making physical nudges and showing playfulness so he won’t have to.

Some women may find this challenging, especially if you don’t tend to be the touchy-feely type yourself. But every one of the five love languages can be mastered, as Dr. Chapman points out. Additionally, practice makes perfect, as with everything.

The truth is that someone whose love language is physical touch may start to feel like they are burdening their spouse if they feel like they are always the ones to initiate, especially if they don’t appear as willing to reciprocate.

Make an effort to touch your guy frequently. You don’t have to cling to him all the time, but a quick arm brush now and then or a shoulder squeeze can do wonders.

2. Try out nonsexual touching

Touching is one of the five senses that is not restricted to a single localized location of the body, as Dr. Chapman writes in his book. This holds true for men in particular.

Even though you enjoy physical contact and are aware of your preferences, you must keep in mind that this isn’t about you. It’s possible that he won’t respond favorably to the touch that makes you feel most cherished. Everyone seems to want their loved one to touch them in the manner of a back rub, embrace, or kiss, but everyone has distinct tastes.

Although it may sound stupid, the way we touch can make a huge difference in your relationship.

3. Request feedback

In addition to trying to touch your guy in ways that seem easy to you, you should also make it a point to ask for feedback. By doing this, you can develop a few go-to romantic gestures and establish useful boundaries in the event that a certain touch is grating or even too sexually aggravating for a moment.

Your companion will experience love in a variety of unusual and surprising ways. Try other actions, like lying your head on his shoulder, massaging his leg, or messing with his hair, to find them. Encourage him to share with you what makes him feel appreciated and what doesn’t.

4. Consider the impact of your actions on others

When your partner communicates through physical touch, be mindful of how you touch them. Try to keep any special touches you use to show your partner between the relationship and yourself. I’m not advocating never touching another person. But it is important to be mindful that the gestures that we show to our partner are meant to be more intimate and are to be received only by them. I’m trying to convey that when you touch someone, especially if their major love language is physical touch, it matters a lot. Hence, know to differentiate between the physical gestures between you and other people.

5. Establish a PDA level that is comfortable

To be clear, I do not advocate making out in the middle of a restaurant or engaging in any other public shows of affection that could be offensive to those around you. But as someone who likes physical contact, I can say that holding hands, giving hugs, and squeezing hands, even when other people are around, makes me feel especially loved.

Try to hold his hand in front of your friends or greet him with a firm hug that is a little bit longer. He will understand that you adore him and don’t care whether others know it if you make these kinds of gestures in public. Talk about the increase in your love tank from 0 to 60.


The physical contact guy’s love tank doesn’t have to be empty when sex isn’t an option. Physical touch is more of a love language than a sexual language. Try these suggestions out to get the ideal “I love you” phrase that is appreciated by him and understandable to both of you.

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