In a world where men are stereotypically portrayed as fearless and emotionless beasts, little does the outside world know that every man has their battle against a certain beast in the form of admittance.
While men deal readily with dangerous threats, the feat and shame of admitting something, be it his flaws or the situations that life throws up, rattle them to the core. So much so that they feel terrified and full of thoughts all over the place, with their heart longing for someone who can just hold them and tell them everything is fine.
It is that feeling of vulnerability and shame that just feels like an inner demon haunting you from within. It makes it virtually difficult to admit something even when your inner heart goes “Well, just accept it because it is what it is”.
Things that men are afraid to admit:
Men are quite reserved when it comes to certain insecurities or exposing weird habits because of the fear of being judged by rather shabby social taboos. The following are 4 common things that men are afraid to admit:
Hair Loss:
Let’s face it, the truth is that all men will experience hair loss at some point in their lives. It is a question of: When? Why? How quickly?
Men are always so concerned and sensitive about hair. For men, hair represents their masculinity and virility, more than just muscle or look. After all, hair is men’s best accessory. Who wouldn’t want to preserve the crown in the head in the form of hair? Absolutely no one. But hair loss is unfortunately uncontrollable more often than not.
‘Noticing signs of hair loss is every man’s nightmare’. The majority of men lose their hair naturally as they age and their hormone levels change. The hormones in our bodies fluctuate as we age, and testosterone levels, in particular, begin to fall. The changes in testosterone affect the hair. Testosterone does not induce hair loss on its own. However, a sudden rise in your testosterone levels can also increase your DHT levels, causing hair follicle destruction and hastening the effects of male pattern baldness.
Declining Physical Peak:
You might be a fitness-centered guy and might have worked hard to get in shape and build a perfectly jacked male body, but as you grow old, you can't maintain the physique. For men, it is important to understand that our metabolic rates slow down and diminish. As we become older, we lose part of the muscle mass we have in our bodies and we can not train with the same intensity.
At some point in time, it is about accepting that we are a shadow of our former selves because aging is inevitable and is something that is not in your control. But it is easier said than done as it is hard to digest.
Well, age isn’t the only uncontrollable agent here. There is genetics as well. The ability of men to get jacked and put on muscular mass is sometimes defined by genetics more than just a proper diet and training. You might be able to maximize your genetic potential with the right training, a nutritious diet, and adequate rest, but they cannot transcend genetic restrictions.
Some might appear to be highly muscular after only one year of training, but others struggle to put on muscles despite adequate nutrition and exercise. Your genetics, to a considerable part, dictate your ability for muscular building, which again is a hard one to take for men.
An eye on other guy’s demeanor:
Let us just face this straight: All men check out another guy’s style and fashion and look if they occasionally bump into some cool random guy. But we keep a straight face and refuse to admit it if you ask them. But there's something we notice behind the other guy’s demeanor that we like to try out, don’t we?
When a man comes across another guy who is taller or stronger or more well-spoken than him, it always makes him a tad envious but also it makes him admire the guy and draw inspiration from it. But this is something that men do not admit in public or even in a convo with close peers. Why? Because of an inappropriate feeling or the shame of being judged potentially.
Inner fight against social taboo:
Modern society picturizes men to be powerful and emotionally strong human beings. Our patriarchal upbringing has taught us that males need to be tough because they need to defend their families. This concept has indirectly, if not directly, taught us that men are supposed to be emotionally impassive and tough. Men are taught to hide their emotions from a very young age; they are encouraged not to cry because apparently, no one likes to watch a boy cry.
Men are always in a battle with prescriptive, outdated views based on their gender daily
The cultural assumption that males should be tough and self-sufficient is perhaps the biggest obstacle to men and arguably the reason why they do not admit that they do cry. This very social stigma has taken force to such an extent that it has left men in a state of being powerless to admit that they do cry and show emotions just like every women do, because of the embarrassment and shame that comes along with it. This makes it unlikely for men to cry out in front of other people. But remember, a man is probably lying if he claims he never gets emotional.
Are these common?
As men, we’ve all got personal stuff we'd rather not admit to anyone. They could be insecurities or odd truths about ourselves that we would rather keep hidden than reveal. It is very common indeed.
Is there any man in the world who is not worried about his hair? One hundred percent not. The mind cannot just admit that hair loss is inevitable as we progress year by year and the natural ailments set in. The same goes for physique-based contemplations as well. It is common for men to not admit them because vulnerability sets in.
Men are reluctant to acknowledge their vulnerability and show emotions. Why? Because we have been brought up in a way that it is transfixed in our minds that vulnerability equates to weakness. The moment of truth is that every man in the world has been there at some point in his life where the mind goes out in desperation: I’m concerned about being judged and I simply need to be hugged and assured that everything is fine”. This relates to the life of every man out there because after all men are human beings with emotions and have a set of personal insecurities that are hard to admit.
Conclusion
It is about time that the notion that men lack feelings or do not show emotions is put to bed. Men do have emotions and men do have feelings. It is just that men do not have what it takes to admit certain personal things.
Feeling ashamed is a natural reaction when something embarrassing occurs or when there is something that we aren't proud of. It also has something to do with how most adults grow up, with a sense of shame that refrains them from being expressive. The bottom line is that everyone experiences guilt, but many men would prefer not to acknowledge it.
Written By - V. Sam Josh
Edited by - Bhagwat Jha