The relationship between a father and a child is very important as only a father is able to guide and teach his child into becoming a better person in life. However, when a child progresses towards his teenage years, the hormonal changes kick in and suddenly his very own father is someone he won’t share anything with. He might start dating or make friends with the wrong company, however, is not bothered to share that with his father as his life has suddenly taken twists and turns. Apart from that, he might feel that his very own parents, especially his father, might embarrass him in front of their friends. He usually prefers to stay away from his father, someone he always used to share his feelings and emotions with.
As a father, it can be heartbreaking to see your child staying away from you or ignoring you. You might want to talk to your teenage child, however, he might not be interested in talking to you or might be running away from you. He might be more interested in hanging out with his friends rather than spending time with you. He might be social media savvy or would prefer binge watching Netflix rather than talking to you. However, as a father, you cannot let your child be all by himself and not spend some quality time with him.
Keeping this in mind, we have a few tips for fathers to talk to their teenage kids without annoying them. Have a look below:
Listen to Them
Listening is the most effective way of communication when it comes to talking to your teens. Asking direct questions such as “where were you last night” or “did you study this evening” is not going to help when it comes to talking to them. Teens are more likely to be open with their fathers if they don’t feel pressured to share information. Even if he makes an offhand comment about what happened during the day means it is his way of reaching out and if you are open and interested, you will get to know more. However, prying is not going to help you out in this case.
Teenagers often feel that they are not being taken seriously and that is why they shut off those people who do not trust them. In this case you need to make your teenage kid believe that you truly trust him and start taking them seriously. You could ask them for a favour to show them that you truly rely on him. Letting your kid know you have faith in him will boost his confidence and make him more likely to rise to the occasion.
Validate His Feelings
Whenever a teen is going through a problem, it is the tendency of a father to solve it or downplay their disappointments. However, the truth is that you need your teenage kid to take care of it. Even though he is not an adult, showing your trust in him that he can take care of his personal issues will greatly improve his self confidence. Saying “She was not right for you anyway” after a brutal break up can feel dismissive. Instead, you need to make him feel that you understand and empathise with his feelings rather than trying to make things better for him.
As a father you are certainly allowed to set some rules and regulations for your teenage kid, however, be ready to explain them to him as well. You cannot just set these rules and expect him to follow them with no questions asked. If it is a no party on a school night rule, then you will have to explain to him why this rule has to be followed. Similarly, if there is no drinking till you are an adult rule, you will have to explain this rule to him as well.
Most fathers praise their kids when they are young, however, teenagers need the same praise as well for a self esteem boost. They might behave as if they are too cool to think about what their fathers think about them but the truth is that they too need their fathers’ approval. Apart from that, your encouraging words will have a positive effect on them and will make your relationship with your teen quite stronger.
Do Things Together
Talking is not the only way that can help you build a strong relationship with your teenager. You can step ahead and do a lot of activities with your teenage kid. If he likes to go to the movies, tag along with him and watch his favourite Batman flick. If he prefers to go to the local library to read, go along with him to show him that you are interested in his life. If he loves to binge watch Netflix, join him and watch his favourite web series. It will help you in getting to know your teenage kid and his life without prying or hiring a private detective.
As a kid, he must have spent loads of time with you, although as he is growing up and turning into a teenager, he must have his own secrets which he prefers to not share with anyone, especially you. However, while a father will not be able to know everything about his teenager, he certainly needs to know a few things about him and be a part of his life.
The above given tips will definitely help you out in talking and knowing your teen without following him everywhere or stalking his social media profiles. You need to understand that a teenager is also struggling with his new hormonal changes and emotions kicking in so telling his own father about what he is going through is a lot harder for him. However, these tips will make your bond much stronger with your teenage kid.