Often, men are blamed for being emotionally unavailable. Even social media’s humour regarding dating revolves around this pretty common joke about how emotionally unavailable men are. But the hypocrisy is clearly visible when people troll men for showing emotions and affection towards their loved ones. In a recent post on famous American footballer Tom Brady’s Instagram, we can see him kissing his 13-year-old son, which created quite a fuss around the internet. People trolled him and quoted the pictures as “inappropriate,” and some even pointed out that the father-and-son duo looked gay.
And that’s how a father kissing a son caused such a big controversy, whereas a similar situation with a gender switch won’t be a big deal. Mothers have always been praised for their affection, while fathers have been labelled as emotionally unavailable or simply strict.That’s how children are often more comfortable sharing something with their mothers than their fathers.
Even in 2018, in a documentary, Tom Brady was seen kissing his 11-year-old son, and a similar sort of discomfort was expressed by the audience, saying “it’s only appropriate till a certain age,” “you can hug him instead,” and whatnot.
This brings our attention to the fact that the change we are demanding is something we are actually not ready to carry out and accept.
Though many comments are completely negative and complain about these pictures, a lot of people defended them and commented on the sick mentality people carry. Comments like “Only people that are chronically online find this weird” defended and supported Tom Brady.
Only people that are chronically online find this weird — 𝐚-𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 (@wydccalamity) December 31, 2022
The hypocritical side
Men’s affectionate side is often overlooked, especially as fathers. Just like women, men were also taught to be a certain way. Less expressive, strong, helping, muscular, rigid, and harsh—all these traits have been set up by society to fulfil the so-called “ideal man criteria.” As the page turns, the majority of these traits are termed “toxic” or fall under “toxic masculinity”. Whereas the affectionate side of a man is “not so manly” for us.
This constant criticism about “how a man should be” is nothing but being insensitive.
Of course, gender stereotypes are evolving. It’s now far more acceptable for males to express their feelings and for women to be “tough.” But on general terms, being sensitive is still seen as more acceptable in women than in men. Men who are sensitive are viewed as being weak. They aren’t tough enough, so this means It implies that they lack leadership skills and management experience.
We need men who are sensitive and emotionally available. With this young boys can learn that there is nothing wrong with showing affection or being sensitive. Being expressive doesn’t make them any less of a “man.” It’s ultimately going to benefit the people around them. Emotionally available men are empathetic, and that’s how crime against any other gender or even against men can be reduced. After all, a man’s affection should not be that hard to digest.