top of page

Should Men Always Pay For The First Date?

Should he pay for everything on a first date? This is the question many men keep wondering, but the answer has never changed.

Although men may have different views regarding this. When it comes to who should pay for the meal on a first date, women tend to have different ideas than men for a variety of reasons.

Our opinion is as followed…

This discussion can continue as long as people want to. However, if you were to inquire privately, it is recommended that you follow these three guidelines:

1. Always pay the bill on the first date

Right off the bat, let’s get one thing straight that you will have to pay if you were the one to ask her out. But also to behave in this way is to simply be a gentleman. By offering to pay the bill for the initial date, you’ll show her that you value her time and appreciate her interest in you. You are simply being gracious and polite by expressing your appreciation.

2. You’ll have to take the bill if you initiated the date

As a rule, men extend invitations, but there are always exceptions of course. To put it another way, the woman is your “guest,” and as such, you, the “host,” should show her the utmost hospitality.

You can always go to the park, the museum, the trail, or even go dancing if you don’t feel like fine dining. Remember that she’s not just coming to eat; she wants to get to know you!

Keep in mind that a first date is more likely to end well if both people involved are laughing and talking. Oh, and you know what? Each of these places don’t even cost a thing. Expensive dates should be saved for when you’ve gotten to know each other well and feel ready to put more effort into the relationship.

3. Manage the Payment Matter “Playfully”

Try approaching it in a roundabout fashion. You shouldn’t get all puffed up and determined to pay right now. Feminists and other women who value their autonomy find that offensive.

Here is where you can use your wit and humour to win over your date and get them to at least partially agree with you. If she insists on a 50/50 split, you could suggest that they split the cost of drinks at the bar. It’s best if she doesn’t take it too seriously to keep things open-handed.

But here’s a “sneaky” strategy worth trying if you’d like to pay for the whole thing:

  1. Mention that you’d like to pay for the entire meal near the end of it (but before the check arrives). The odds are high that she will reject you and want to part ways. It’s at that point that you should make your best effort without coming across as pushy.

  2. Give the impression that you’ve enjoyed the date and are acting sincerely to express your gratitude to her (which should be the case anyway). It’s possible that will solve the problem.

  3. Act as if you have no problem with it if she still hasn’t given in. Tell her that you’re still considering your options with a smile, because you always need a backup.

  4. Finish your drink, whether it’s water or something else. Please hold on for a minute or two before making your way to the restroom. Be sure you’re not coming off as nervous or unsure.

  5. Before leaving the table, double-check to make sure your date isn’t staring at you. In that case, sneak up on your server and slip your card under the table. Provide an explanation for your immediate payment preference.

Let the rest happen and cross your fingers!

The reaction of your date to that sneaky move is completely unpredictable. She can take solace in the fact that she made a good faith effort to compensate you, at the very least. Her moral compass will not be shaken.

She might just be feeling down, so be patient and pleasant. Make a pact with me that this will be the last time. Make sure she knows she owes you nothing (NOT even sex).

Sure, at best? In her eyes, it’s a very romantic gesture, which means you’ve made a great impression on her. You leave on a high note, which bodes well for a second date.

1 view0 comments
bottom of page