It is a known fact that making men sit together and talk about their feelings is quite hard and sometimes even impossible, let alone making them just talk to each other. While women can befriend a stranger easily and share their deepest, darkest secrets to them, that is not the case with men, who do not let their guard down and make sure that their buddies know nothing more than they do not want to share.Â
While their love for beer, cricket or football might be the same, they tend to not go into the real talk and be vulnerable as well as sensitive in front of each other. This happens because men have been always taught to be strong and tough while they were being raised, so showing any kind of emotion is a sign of weakness for them. However, the truth is far from that.
The Real Talk
There might not be a man in this world who hasn’t been discouraged from sharing what has been happening in his life or how he feels about something. Men have been taught that sharing their emotional side or being vulnerable is completely off limits and is a sign of a weak man. This leads to a lot of men bottling up their emotions inside rather than sharing their issues with their family, friends or even their partners.
Some men even have masculine stereotypes drilled into them so hard that they are unable to open up to anyone in their life. They start believing that men do not share their feelings. However, the truth is that men too want to share, especially their feelings. Whether it is a break up that they are going through, a career crisis or a family issue, they too need to open up about their feelings. Any man and every man needs that real talk.
Sports and politics are not the only things that men want to talk about; they want to share their emotional and sensitive side as well. If men were not judged or ridiculed, even some of the hardest guys would be able to be vulnerable and share their stories with other people. However, the fear of being judged is too much for men to open up to other men.
Support Groups
Men’s support groups can be a great place to start with where you can forget about being judged or being ridiculed when you start opening up. There are different types of support groups for men out there which you can join, one can be either a general personal development men’s group and the other can be for a specific topic, such as divorce, grieving a loved one, mental health and many more.
You can choose accordingly and join a particular men’s support group. It is not about what type of men’s support group you join, but how you are able to open up. These support groups are a safe space for men to share their bottled up emotions and no matter what they share remains confidential as well as private.
Ice Breakers
Now, it is completely your choice whether you want to join a men’s support group or want to open up with your guy friends. The truth is that you can be vulnerable with your own friends instead of opting for a men’s support group to share your bottled up emotions and feelings. However, you cannot just go up to them and start opening up without them knowing beforehand. What you need here is an ice breaker to start an actual conversation.
Some of the best ice breakers that you can use to break the ice are:
What is your biggest achievement?
What are you most proud of?
What are you most excited about in your life right now?
Tell me about your partner/kids?
How do you spend your free time? What are your hobbies?
What do you do for a living?
What do you find the most challenging about your work?
Some of these ice breakers can do wonders and will leave you flabbergasted as you find so much in common amongst each other. In fact, it will lead to an amazing conversation, where you will be sharing so much with each other without knowing. Along with that, it will lead to a deeper connection with your friends as you get to know them in depth.
Topics Men Should Talk About
While sports and politics has been the number one of the top topics that men talk about amongst themselves, it is not that they are not interested in any other topics of life. Men too want to share their emotions at a deeper level while being vulnerable without being judged.
Firstly, men can always talk about their romantic relationships, whether they are going through a rough patch or have patched up with their partner. They can either take advice or share their problems with their friend while being vulnerable and open.
Family issues can certainly take a toll on you whether it is a father son conflict or something else. Sharing your feelings about your family with a guy friend will definitely make you feel better and more hopeful as well.
Health is another topic that men can talk about amongst each other, especially mental health. You can talk about ageing, exercise programs that you can go for together. Apart from that, you can talk about the best nutrition, getting better sleep as well as meditation that you can do together.
Career is quite important for men as half of the time they end up being the breadwinners of their family. This is why talking about your career with other men is essential for you. You can talk about your future career goals as well as your dreams that you plan to achieve.
Apart from that, talking about addictions is also important for men, especially if you have them and want to get rid of them. Addictions such as watching porn, binge eating, alcohol as well as drugs are quite unhealthy and can cost you your life. Talking about it can help you overcome it better as your friends can be your support system.
Conclusion
While men have always been taught to be strong and tough, bottling down their emotions and feelings, the truth is that they too need to be vulnerable and open up, without being judged or ridiculed. A lot of men did not share anything about themselves, all of their life as they were taught to do so while they were being raised and they never let their guard down.
Although most of the men believe that sharing their feelings and emotions means that it is a sign of weakness, the truth is that men too are human beings and need to be emotional and sensitive as well. Whether a man joins a men’s support group or tries to open up with his friends, he should be able to feel safe to do so. The fear of being stigmatised due to sharing about his feelings should not weaken a man.
The truth is that a man who is able to share his feelings and be vulnerable is truly strong. It is not a sign of weakness but actually strength. A man who is able to share his deepest desires, his dreams as well as goals is truly a real man and not the one who is chiselled with six pack abs but is unable to open up in front of other men.
We have already talked about the ice breakers that you can use to initiate a conversation and the different topics that you can talk about later during the conversation. After all, football or politics is not everything that men are all about. Apart from that, when you find common ground, you will be able to talk even more with better excitement.
Once the ice has been broken, the conversation will just go with the flow without any barriers and you won’t even get to know when you have started opening up about your deepest feelings with a person you barely knew. It doesn’t matter who the other man is; it could be your neighbour, your doctor, your cousin or a random stranger. If you are ready to bare it all and open up by being vulnerable with the other person while letting him open up as well, then you must go for it. Do not be scared and share your inner side with others.