Is Pain of divorce skewed towards men and why?
Divorce is one of the biggest traumatic griefs a person can experience. It has a major setback impact on both the people involved. Yet women are sympathised more than men and no little attention is given to the thought that maybe the man in the relationship is shattered too. Men are considered to be emotionally unavailable whereas the irony is that it’s we as a society who suppressed their will to express in the name of toxic masculinity.
Hence, people conclude that he might move on very easily or it might not be a huge deal for him.
Both men and women find breakups difficult, but more often, women are able to deal with their emotions and move on after grieving. This is probably because women are more likely to seek treatment than men are, and they also typically have much better support systems in place, including close friends they can talk with, grieve with, and receive consolation and encouragement from. Men experience the same impacts far more strongly than women do since men never seek any kind of psychological assistance, but women have been shown to experience a minor decline in their physical and emotional health.
Women are also shown to come out stronger after a divorce, while men may try to move forward but never overcome the pain and grief it has caused them.
According to several reports, the pain of divorce can be felt more by the man than woman in many cases. Here is why we think that pain of divorce skewed towards men –
Men avoid going through the grieving process.
Divorce is one of the most stressful things that can happen in life. Grief is a normal emotion because the person you are losing in a divorce has been your partner and an important part of your life for a long time. Men who skip the mourning process experience loss because their plans are interrupted, their objectives and dreams are altered, and their life plan will be significantly different.
Women give themselves space to grieve, which is a normal emotion and essential for moving on. When they get divorced, women will also look for professional assistance or assistance from family members to deal with their emotional state. Men who suppress their emotions run the risk of developing severe anxiety and depression. As men are not in the habit of expressing much, they skip the grieving process in the majority of cases. This is a significant setback in their future lives.
Men’s health is deteriorating dramatically.
Men are more likely than women to have health issues during and after a divorce. The most frequent health issues include changes in weight, sadness, anxiety, and insomnia. Men are substantially more prone to stroke and heart disease due to the additional stress of managing their finances and identity loss. Men are also more likely than women to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol rather than seek counselling during stressful periods.
When they are married, wives typically work to support their husbands’ healthy habits. Men may become more reliant on women as a result of this. While women frequently opt to speak with a professional, friend, or family member when they are depressed, men commonly talk to their wives when they are depressed. Simply put, men aren’t used to asking for emotional assistance from people other than their spouse.
Men fail to maintain their identity.
When a couple is together, they identify as a wife or a husband, and that makes up a significant portion of who they are. One important aspect of self-identification and how others see you is your marital status.
While wives are more likely than men to take up new hobbies and join clubs while they are married, husbands who are going through a divorce regard themselves as no longer being half of a union. This enables women to maintain their social connections even after a divorce. After a marriage dissolves, men usually don’t engage in new pursuits.
Men enter new relationships quickly.
Men don’t really grieve, so they don’t want to be left alone after a divorce and are prone to jumping into a new relationship as soon as possible. They can meet someone new in this way while still repressing their feelings of disappointment about their broken marriage. Relationship problems may result from this.
Women, on the other hand, take some time to mourn and reflect on their feelings. Women will also wait before starting a new relationship, strengthening any subsequent relationships. Additionally, women are more prone to hold off on starting something fresh because, let’s face it, who wants to feel like they are still in high school with all the uncertainty of those relationships?
Compared to divorced men, divorced women are far less likely to remarry. If you look, there are significantly more men than women on dating websites. Many women who have experienced a divorce and have children are afraid to try again in case the second relationship doesn’t work out either.
Fathers Miss Their Kids
After a divorce, the mother often receives custody of the children. Men will no longer have daily contact with their children like they did while they were married; instead, they will only see them according to a custody schedule. Men will miss the big baseball game, parties, and other events that still take place, which will make them feel that they are no longer a part of the children’s lives. Men don’t like when their kids are called to find out what’s going on.
On the other hand, even if children live with their mother, women continue to play a vital role in their lives. Because the kids are around and she interacts with them every day, the mother will typically feel content and diverted from negative emotions.
Men have financial responsibilities.
For men after divorce, keeping up with strict financial commitments is their main source of stress. Both ex-spouses suffer losses, although typically, men have a higher decline in quality of living than women, between 10 and 40%, as a result of alimony and child support obligations, the requirement for a separate place to live, an additional set of furnishings for the home, and other costs. And for men who contributed less than 80% of the family’s income, the situation is worse. It has been demonstrated that these men struggle far more to make up for lost income.
The Future Ahead
A divorce can be difficult to deal with. But it can also be a chance for you to discover more about who you are and improve the way you handle your relationships and emotions. But just because men don’t express that doesn’t mean it’s not hard on them.
Speaking with a mental health expert can help you get through any difficulties and learn how to control your emotions both during and after divorce, if you’re going through one or are considering it.
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