Making a relationship work is not as easy as it looks; it takes a lot of effort by both the partners. However, not every relationship is able to withstand the different turmoils that come its way and have to end one day. While it is believed that women are most affected by a break up, the truth is that men are more affected by it. The difference is they don’t show.
Whether you broke up with your partner or they ended the relationship, it can be gut wrenching for a man who has just lost his partner in crime (we mean). You will be feeling a range of emotions after the break up and it can become mentally exhausting for a person.
With so many negative emotions coming your way, it is hard to focus on anything positive in life, let alone feeling good about yourself. Break ups aren’t just logistically or emotionally painful, they are hard on your brain as well.
However, you can’t just sit around all day, ignoring your work and your personal life and cry about it. Of course we don’t mean that you should not take out time to grieve the loss of a relationship, do take your time but also make sure to move on. And we have a few tips for you to cope up with a break up that has left you heartbroken.
Admit it to Yourself
The first step that you need to take after the break up is to admit that the break has left you in shatters and that you are not fine. If you are trying to show that the break up doesn’t matter to you by putting up a strong front, you are only going to hurt yourself more. You won’t be able to move on in the first place if you don’t admit that you are sad due to the end of the relationship.
While some men feel that by showing their emotions, people will consider them a weak person, it is actually dangerous to pretend that you don’t feel any emotions at all. Whether you were in a relationship for a few years or a few months, in order to move on, you need to acknowledge your emotions. Admitting your emotions is the first step towards moving on from a relationship that has ended.
Don’t Blame Yourself
Men often tend to blame themselves after a break up, especially when their partner has broken up with them. You might feel that you were too clingy, or perhaps you were too sensitive, however, as soon as you feel such negative emotions, end them right away. The truth is that a relationship is the responsibility of two people, not one, so you can’t blame yourself if a relationship didn’t work out.
Perhaps, the timing wasn’t right for the relationship to grow or your partner wasn’t ready for a mature relationship. Either way, you cannot blame yourself for a break up which is a two way street.
Talk to a Therapist
You might think that a therapist is the last thing you need in your life but talking to a therapist is always a good idea after a bad break up. With all the negative emotions that are stirring inside you, talking to a professional will help you in finding that silver lining in your life. Apart from that, a therapist will assist you in getting closure without the need to bang your ex’s car with a baseball bat.
Block Your Ex Partner
This is probably the first step that you should take after your break up. You need to block them from social media, instead of stalking them online all the time. Firstly, it will help you in stopping the impulse of texting them at 2 PM in the night and secondly, you won’t be able to check what all they are posting on social media. Such kind of a social media detox is necessary after a break up.
Even if both of you have decided to be friends after the break up, you certainly need a cooling off period and checking their social media will only bring up feelings of anger, jealousy, bitterness and betrayal.
Alcohol isn’t the Answer
Men tend to drink a lot after a break up to feel better and numb, rather than feeling their emotions. The truth is that alcohol is a depressant. At first, it will be easier to sleep after drinking, however later on it will only lead to disturbed sleep patterns. Apart from that, drinking excessively can make you suicidal after a break up as well as lead to adverse health effects.
Even if you feel like drinking alcohol, go easy with it, and don’t start binge-drinking. Along with that, drinking daily is not a good idea, especially after a break up. One or two glasses of drinks are enough for a day, not more.
Keep a Journal
A break up can be really stressful for a man and can break him from the inside. Keeping a journal is a good idea for you after a breakup to write down your emotions and feelings that you have been experiencing. Apart from that, you can also write down what exactly the both of you did wrong in the relationship and what you will never do again in life. A journal is your safe space where you can pour in all your worries, thoughts and much more without thinking twice.
Talk to Your Friends
You are not the only one who had a bad break up; many of your friends must have gone through it. So why not talk to them about it? Tell them what exactly you have been feeling and the turmoil of emotions that you have been going through. Friends are always there to help you out. It will always feel better once you talk to them, as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. However, talking bad about your ex behind their back is a complete no-no. Even though the relationship has ended, you must respect your ex partner.
Keep Yourself Busy
In order to keep away the negative emotions you must keep yourself busy most of the time. No, it certainly doesn’t mean that you should become a workaholic; work should have its own time. However, you could always join the gym and start working on those six pack abs that you always wanted.
Apart from that, you could join a charity organisation or indulge in some hobbies that you love to do. Along with that, you could always socialise with your friends and family. Keeping yourself busy in such ways will only help you in realising that you have so many better things in life that you can always go for. This will also help you in seeing the positive sides and become optimistic.
Prioritise Your Sleep
As we said above, drinking alcohol can always disturb your sleeping pattern. However, it is not just alcohol which will lead you to poor sleep. Emotional instability is also one of the causes of poor sleep after a break up. No matter how bad the break up was and how close you were with your ex partner, the relationship has ended and they are no longer with you. You need to admit this fact and prioritise your sleep instead of reading all the old texts that both of you sent each other.
You will only be ruining your sleep as well as your mental health by doing this. You need to make sure that you get adequate sleep instead of crying yourself to sleep.
The end of a relationship is always bad, even if the break up was a mutual decision. There are tons of emotions a man goes through, mostly blaming himself and making himself the villain of the story. However, the end of the relationship doesn’t have to be like that at all.
Once a relationship ends, you must learn from it; the mistakes you made as well as the mistakes your partner made. You should never repeat these mistakes in your future relationship. Apart from that, once you are single again, you have got a sense of freedom which you didn’t have before. You must feel it and make the most out of it.
We understand that after a break up you tend to feel lonely, however, you can always make the world a better place for yourself by going out a lot and socialising more. Staying home in bed and crying about the break up is not going to work out for you in any positive manner.
See the break up as a transition for yourself and how you can improve yourself and become a better man. The negative emotions are bound to come up, however you have the choice to go for them or find the silver lining from the break up. See the break up as a lesson for yourself. Learn what it taught you and once you are ready to get back in the dating field again, make sure that you keep the lesson in mind. There are always other women and the right woman for you might just be around the corner!