In a world where EQ (Emotional Quotient) is now just as important as IQ (Intelligence Quotient), being in touch with one’s feelings and emotions is very important. Men often find this quite challenging. Due to various reasons, men are not as emotionally mature as they should be. This could be due to the way society treats them, or the way they are expected to stay strong and exude bravado all the time.
It is important for men too to open up about their emotions and their feelings from time to time, so as to not erupt like a volcano one fine day with all the pent-up emotions just being pushed down.
Men find it hard to open up, whether it be about their emotions or their problems. This needs to change, and men should also be able to find a safe space to express themselves in order to stay mentally healthy, and in touch with their inner selves. The reasons why men are emotionally immature or don’t let themselves hold onto feelings and emotions, and how men can work towards changing that is explored in the article below.
Why are men so casual with their emotions?
1. Past experiences:
It is human nature to socialise and interact with others. So it is safe to say that at least once, a man will tend to open up about themselves and talk to someone they deem important about it. Now if that person goes on to not treat him right, or not value his feelings and emotions, this could cause the man to build up a wall to protect himself from being humiliated and hurt again. This would lead to them hiding and shying away from their feelings and not trusting anyone with them.
Men have an image when it comes to society, and a man in touch with his feelings and emotions isn’t part of that. Men are expected to be strong and be able to support others in times of need, but what society fails to realise is that men often need support too. If they spend years of their lives not being able to open up about their feelings and emotions, eventually they deem that to be normal and accept that as their reality.
What changes should be made to be able to open up more?
If changes fail to be made, the results are devastating and disastrous. Men have a higher suicide rate than women, and the reason found for the majority of these deaths is often depression.
Depression is a disease and can be avoided by opening up and talking to others and confiding in them about your feelings and emotions. Now due to the above reasons, it is significantly harder for men to express themselves and open up to others, but some things can be done to work towards changing that.
In order to start opening up to someone, you need to ensure that you’re comfortable with that person, be it a friend and acquaintance or a significant other. If you don’t feel comfortable with the other person, you tend to stay closed off and shell yourself in order to avoid the judgement you think they will have for you.
Trusting someone doesn’t mean opening up to them about all your past trauma and emotions in a go. You can slowly build trust with them and open up and talk to them about your feelings and emotions little by little. Once you’ve satisfied yourself that they’re trustworthy and gained a high level of comfort with them, it will be much easier to open up and pour forth your feelings and emotions to them.
Although therapy is seen as a taboo by a major part of society, it is a very effective option to be able to talk through and express yourself and your feelings. A lot of people begin with therapy once they realise that they have a significant problem with communication about their feelings and emotions and want to make a change so as to be able to attain better mental health and stability.
Self-awareness is the best way to tell if you have a problem with anything or not. Similarly, being self-aware of your feelings and emotions and the ability to tell them apart from each other is a big step in being able to talk about them and open up to someone. If you are aware that you have a problem with communicating about your feelings or that you’re hiding your emotions, it is the first step to realising you need help and need to work on yourself.
Men are often more closed off compared to other genders, and this in the long run isn’t good for their mental health. Bottling up feelings and emotions would lead to eventually blowing up which could harm oneself and those around. Making changes by slowly letting people in by being comfortable and trusting them are the first few steps one needs to take in order to get into a path that ensures better mental health and peace. Once one is able to open up about his feelings and emotions, his mental load is reduced, and he may feel lighter and more at ease.