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Do we ask men about boundaries?

We all have our personal space, and clearly it’s frustrating if someone violates it. Women are being bold enough to speak out whenever a man crosses that boundary. But do we ask men about their boundaries?

There are a number of things that we as women do very casually around men, which can create a fuss if the genders are switched. In this fast-paced world of demanding equality, do we ask men about their boundaries enough?

It doesn’t take more than a minute for people to declare a man as a harasser whenever a woman comes up with a statement. Whereas, a man is made to feel “too sensitive” when he starts voicing out his boundaries.

A student from Delhi shared his thoughts and said, “Men are conditioned in a way that they are not supposed to think about whether they have a boundary or a right to have a line of their own; it maybe makes them feel feminine or it is too vulnerable to think of as an idea.”

He added, “If a girl crosses it, the first thing we in general think is no, she’s a girl, and it cannot be the other way around, so stop being a girl because even if true, you’re supposed to enjoy it.” And among men and friendships, it’s too much of an awkward thing to talk about. In the end, this talk is only for hilarity purposes.

The irony is that we, as women, talk about boundaries without respecting or even thinking about the same for others. But it’s past time to recognise that some rules apply to both genders, regardless of how sensitive society deems anyone to be.

What should men know about their boundaries?

  1. You are not too sensitive; if you feel uncomfortable, you do.

We all have our boundaries and our own personal space. Anybody crossing them without your consent will make you feel uncomfortable. IT’S NORMAL. Just because a man feels uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not as serious as it will be if a woman feels the same way. Make sure you accept that you felt uncomfortable, and you don’t have to be okay with anything that is making you feel that way. Don’t just accept it and let it be this way because “people” will think that you are too sensitive.

  1. Initiate a “NO.”

The problem with the concept of “NO” is that it’s difficult to say as well as receive, but it is the most powerful step you can take to set your boundaries. Men, like women, should be expected to simply say “no” without considering what the other person might think. If, as a man, you feel somebody is invading your personal space and making you feel uncomfortable, STOP IT. Say a “No”. Your comfort is the first thing you should think about, and yes, this statement doesn’t have any gender criteria.

  1. Take your stand, but don’t be disrespectful

Taking a stand doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful. Not everybody you feel uncomfortable around has bad intentions. You may feel uncomfortable around people who are too touchy, talkative, interfering, and much more. Take your stand, but do so respectfully as long as the behaviour is not being repeated.

Don’t be afraid to share it.

Men rarely express their discomfort to those close to them.Being judged for it might be one of the reasons. There is also a lack of trust.W hen a man expresses discomfort in the presence of a woman, he is either laughed at or not trusted.But that doesn’t mean you can never find people who believe in what you say or feel. Keep trying to share it, and keep getting rid of the baggage you carry.

Mind the boundaries

It’s good to see women setting up boundaries and voicing out the feeling of discomfort, sometimes immediately or after some time. But it is equally annoying to see when they don’t maintain the same boundaries they expect others to keep. Men can feel uncomfortable around women; they can say no; they can dislike a certain touch; and simply, they should be asked about their consent enough, because that’s what equality stands for.

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