Knowing each other before moving into a relationship is a necessity if you both seriously plan a future together. And before you say yes to your partner, it is important to ask them certain questions that would help you both go a long way ahead. It might seem difficult to ask the appropriate questions, but below is a list that you could possibly ask the other person before you dive into a serious courtship. So let's learn about these questions and get an idea of the do’s and don’ts.
Things To Ask
Why didn’t your last relationship work?
You may not want to know all the minute details of her previous relationship, but knowing what ended their relationship before would help you know more about the person and how they function in a relationship.
What are your dreams?
It is important to know about their dreams and aspirations before saying yes. Knowing what they want to become in the future and their life plans would give you the chance to support and encourage them if you ever come to spend your future together.
What kind of childhood did you have?
Even if not about past relationships, you should know what kind of background your partner has and what kind of childhood she experienced. Knowing if they are coming from a past that was not pleasant would help you to understand the emotional needs that they might find or expect from you while you both are dating.
What are your hobbies?
This is a must-ask question before moving ahead. Knowing what your partner loves to do is necessary because this tells a lot about their personality, about their likes and dislikes as well.
Do you want to have and raise kids?
Before asking any other question, you should definitely ask them about their plans of having kids. Asking this would give you a greater idea of their perceptions of planning and having a family in the future and what are their plans for having children, if they have any.
How do you manage anger?
Knowing what triggers your partner the most and how they manage to handle them is really important. But if their ways of handling their anger do not align with those of yours and you feel that they are more negative, then it is better to step out before you move ahead with them.
What are your likes and dislikes?
You must know what your partner likes and hates the most. It would also help you analyze if there is something about you in particular that she likes or dislikes the most, leading you to improve those aspects or areas about you.
Are you into any sort of addiction?
Asking them if they have any negative or harmful addictions is completely fine. If they are into alcohol, smoking, or taking illegal drugs which might come out as a discomfort to you, it should be discussed well before making any further and mutual discussions.
What are your thoughts on Spirituality?
Although love has no boundaries, it is important to be aware of their ideas about God. They may not be into spirituality as much as you are. But it is good to know their choices and thoughts on this subject and whether your levels of spirituality are compatible or not.
How do you manage/save money?
If your partner is someone who is not into saving and managing their finances, then you should step back before actually getting sure about them. Having a partner who is financially independent and secure, can also give you a more secure future.
How do you handle conflicts in a relationship?
The way a person handles a relationship and deals with its conflicts tells a lot about their maturity levels. This question will give you insights into how much your partner is capable of holding on to you and the relationship, no matter how hard the situation is.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Introverts are comfortable in being on their own and enjoying their own company, while extroverts are more into socializing and loving others’ company. Knowing what kind of personality your partner is will also help you compare the same traits in you and examine the difference.
What kind of a bond do you share with your parents?
You will immediately get to know if she is a family-oriented person once you get to know their equation with her parents. If she has a normal bond with her parents, then she would give the same amount of love to you as she has with them, no matter how many flaws you have. But if her bond with her family is something that is not healthy, it would automatically reflect in your relationship as well.
Do they like reading?
Her passion for reading and what kind of genres she is interested in would give you a bigger picture of the type of person she is. A person is majorly known by the type of books that fascinate them. This simple question will tell you a lot about their personality.
What are your weaknesses and how do you overcome them?
Every individual is not perfect and thus knowing and admitting that you may have weaknesses is a big and important thing in a relationship. A partner who is proud and adamant would only add to the burdens and pressures in a relationship. If your partner is not humble enough and does not correct her mistakes even after knowing them, she might not be your perfect suitor.
In this era of fast-paced connections, it is important to know and understand your potential partners, and to know what beliefs and perspectives they hold on various topics. Before you enter into any conclusion about your relationship, it is better to know your partner as a whole. Marriage is certainly a big step, and being aware that your happiness coincides with that of your partner is necessary to avoid problems in the future. There may be some other questions as well that could be asked, but these are the most important and basic questions that must be addressed before planning a life together. Here is your right guide to knowing what to ask your partner before you actually say yes to them.
Written By: Chirajita Gupta
Edited By: Aniket Joshi