Updated: Jun 23
In a world full of us over thinkers, we are all just a packet of anxiety running high on our emotions, ready to burst at the most inappropriate time. With a pandemic hit world, while cocooning in our own corners, we all felt the knock of our insecurities on our conscious minds.
These insecurities can come in many forms, ranging from abandonment issues to body issues. At some point or the other, we have all gone through the difficult phase where we were clueless about how to tell our partners what an emotional mess we might be.
It will be a lie if we say men are above these feelings of insecurities. In fact with the upbringing where men are taught to cloche their feelings and show no signs of weakness, it becomes difficult to communicate.
So, how should one communicate effectively their securities with their partner in order to move their relationship into a more mature phase? We have your answers here:
Accept your insecurities
The very first step in this process for you is to accept all your insecurities. Any insecurity can derive due to a multitude of reasons, judging them and yourself can be toxic. In this world, especially where men are told not to show even an inch of weakness, men in turn generally just bury their emotions deep down. This not only creates a vacuum in their relationships but is also harmful.
Hence, the very first step in this process, is to unbury those thoughts, let them come to the surface and accept that these are your insecurities, be it about your career, body, relationship or anything else. The path towards healing is always across the hardships.
Be Clear with your message
A lot of time the communication gap comes from the fact that one is not clear about their message. Even though your partner is someone who understands everything you say and don’t say, when it comes to talking about insecurities, one should always be clear about what they are trying to communicate.
One way to do so is by writing. Write down your insecurities and then how you would want to communicate about them. To make sure that your message is sent clearly, try to also write down the expected replies and reactions. This will make you ready for any circumstance that might arise.
Practice makes a man perfect
The age old saying about practice making a man perfect is true for each and everyone of us. Practising in front of a mirror or with someone who might be well aware of what you might be talking about could come in handy.
Even if you just practice alone, be it during a shower, talking out loud about your insecurities will not only make your message clear but it will also give you the confidence to be open about the matters of your heart. Practicing will give you the advantage of being prepared and ready to accept and understand.
The right moment
Make sure that you pick the right moment for this conversation. Talking in a hurry or when your partner is not in the set of mind can make all your preparation go to waste. Informing a partner ahead of the conversation can make them feel a bit concerned but when you have already prepared for the conversation why not give your partner also a chance to be prepared for the same.
Just like stating all your insecurities in an effective way is necessary make sure that while informing your partner about the conversation you are also clear and concise. Just stating a ‘we need to talk’ will spur them in a loop of worry. Rather a statement which states that you want to share your emotions with them will give them relief and understanding.
The last and most effective part of this conversation is to make sure that both the parties are open to listening. Once you have stated everything that you have been holding in and have told your partner about your deepest thoughts, it is now your time to listen.
After a heavy conversation like that your partner will definitely have some thoughts and suggestions of their own. It is now your job to listen to these suggestions and make a note out of them. The conversation could also lead to your partner expressing their insecurities and coming out clean to you.
To make this conversation help your relationship grow in a positive way, it is required that you both come out clean and express your thoughts and emotions to each other in a way that it will enrich the growth of both the individuals.