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How can men have more self reliance

Men are not accustomed to self-reliance, and they rely on the approval or opinion of others to shape their own thoughts. Self-reliance in its truest sense means respecting our own experiences, ideas, and traits and living life through them.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, a 19th century philosopher, said in his famous essay “Self Reliance,” “What matters is what I must do, not what others think. It is easy to follow the world’s view in the world; it is easy to follow our own in solitude; but the great man is he who, in the midst of the crowd, retains the independence of solitude with perfect sweetness, implying that self-reliance does not mean withdrawing from the world but rather engaging with it differently; not escaping society but not becoming completely absorbed in it.  

Self Reliance and Solitude

Self-reliance is based on one’s own experience and understanding, which leads him to a greater path. Men with both polarities, either introverts or extroverts, have different ways of dealing with things, but one thing that every man should never forget is that “excess society is an asylum that will overpower our own thoughts; excess solitude is a vacuum that will desiccate them.”

Some people prefer to live in solitude, detached from the world. For example, a hermit who lives alone in solitude, detached from surroundings, is symbolic of self-reliance, but that alone won’t make men self-reliant. Self-reliance comes from choosing what’s best for you at the moment. A person living in solitude may well be better off in society, but without exposing ourselves to society and gaining insights through that experience, it would be impossible to get a clear understanding of things, like Nietzsche said, “All truths that are kept silent become poisonous.”


Selflessness is a trait that is symbolic of self-reliance. The more men try to help others without self-interest, the more self-reliant they become. Caring for others makes a man experience the true meaning of his life. Self-reliance shouldn’t be confused with just objectively helping others but rather mixing up passion and gratitude in helping others, which doesn’t get called out as a sacrifice but rather a commitment. These values are the true embodiment of love, passion, and grief for others’ suffering, which only a true self-reliant person will pursue.


Simplicity here refers to becoming aware of your aspirations and having faith in your ability, which will inevitably help you live a better present.

Charles Wagner writes in The Simple Life that “simplicity is a state of mind”:

“It dwells in the main intention of our lives.” A man is simple when his chief care is the wish to be what he ought to be, which is honestly and naturally human… “At bottom, it consists in putting our acts and aspirations in accordance with the law of our being.”

Living life to its full potential

Life is meant to be lived, through our own subjective interpretations. Introspection is an essential ingredient that helps us be the best version of ourselves. Self-reliance means not deferring life until we have achieved our goal. Live today to the fullest and don’t be silly by putting off life for yourself; instead, be pragmatic in your options and see what you can do to change things—introspection!

Men often have fear of the unknown and deep anxious feelings; these can be controlled when they get mentally strong and understand their capabilities.

Taking yourself seriously

Taking yourself seriously and not getting hyper-conscious about one’s ability. If men don’t take themselves seriously, they are likely to miss out on many perspectives and ideas that they think don’t fit with society’s expectations. Ridiculing oneself is no way to get better. Having thoughts and ideas and converting them into visions is what a man ought to do.

Bottom Line

Self-reliance is the kind of self-trust that enables us to embrace the world we find ourselves in. Developing trust in yourself and trusting your instincts is what self-reliance means in the truest sense. Thinking right and using all your potential with a blend of passion and self-reliance is an ideal way to move ahead. Allow yourself to let go of the fear that prevents you from taking risks. 

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