Imagine you are in a public space like a park and you hear the word 'pervert' being dished out on a random guy who behaves weirdly and tries to flirt rather unnaturally with a random girl.
When someone calls you a pervert, it means he is condemning certain sexual and erotic impulses and behaviors. Being called a pervert is no nice feeling for a man, as it is an insult directed right in the face. What is interesting is that most men are rather easily regarded as creeps and thrown into the class of ‘pervert men’, although this might not be the case in reality.
Perception trumps intention, doesn’t it? No man wants to be viewed as a pervert or creep, right? This article will open your eyes to actions that can come to your defense and save you from being called a pervert.
Who is a Pervert?
First things first. Who exactly is a pervert? A "pervert" is someone who is drawn to something that is deemed sexually "taboo. It basically means that you are a pervert if you often engage in sexual behaviors or fantasies that are considered out of the norm, potentially deviating from widely accepted sexual conduct standards.
Perverts are sexual predators who cross certain sexual lines. Touches on the back, hand, or legs. Inappropriate touching on the thigh, near the genitals, or even fondling without the person's consent characterizes the behavior of a pervert.
A pervert is also someone who flirts inappropriately. By inappropriate flirting, we mean frequent and intentional provocative touching, such as caressing someone's hand or giving them a tight or lingering hug, and passing flattering comments about physical appearance in such a way that it implies a romantic or sexual interest. In this article, we bring to you the habits that will surely prevent you from being a pervert.
How can you Prevent being called a Pervert?
The following are practices that you can turn to in order to save yourself from being labeled as a pervert:
Hold back physical compliments
The household saying Every person has a different image of another person’s image" is nothing but absolutely true. It is all in the hands of perception. Your compliments might end up making a person uncomfortable, although they were not intended to do so.
Compliments can be unsettling in that the words you hear do not correspond to how you see yourself. Cognitive dissonance is the term psychologists use to explain the discrepancies. Let’s say you go on and say, "You look bright today, and I see a real spark. Seems you are highly motivated to work today," you say to your fellow colleague in the office when she arrives.
Hearing those statements might throw her into a tailspin if she is not a fan of what she is wearing. She will end up wondering if you're lacking in insight or whether the other person is lacking in judgment or perhaps even a pervert.
So what should you do if it is your tendency to speak out about the things that spring to mind? You may not be able to resist your normal physiological reaction to a compliment, but you can try to reframe the situation. Praise does not necessarily have to be directed all of a sudden. Try to connect with the person first and understand her perceptions. Make sure she is aware of your natural character and lets out a compliment if she is comfortable with it in a pleasing manner, barred from uncanny slick words.
Beware of where and what you say before passing a remark
It is crucial to understand the context of conversations and the suitability of actions. Just keep in mind that what is appropriate among close friends might not be in a public environment. For instance, you continue to discuss with your close friends the kinds of girls you are interested in or desire as girlfriends. Nothing is wrong with this. But if you say the same thing in a place where lots of people with various personalities are present, it could not be well received.
The same goes for speaking impolitely about sexual things, which might come across as rude, callous, or creepy. Making disparaging comments about sexual service providers or a few girls' sexual attractions will only make you appear creepy.
Avoid objectifying women
Let’s face the truth. Men always find themselves at some point having sexual thoughts and attractions that spring up in their minds, sometimes naturally due to hormonal changes. Objectification is when you single out a woman’s parts and primarily perceive her as a physical object of desire.
Why is it common, even though it is not meant from the bottom of the heart sometimes? It is due to the belief of a few men that the feminine essence exists outside of themselves and is disconnected from the larger truth of my human completeness. Because that radiant paradise is not within themselves, it is an object they obsess over outside of themselves and treat as entertainment.
Objectification creates a real sense of discomfort in women, so much so that they lash out at you and yell You're such a pervert". How do you avoid this? If you find your mind wavering towards anything that resembles objectifying women and focusing solely on their appearance, try to focus on the other characteristics that make her stand out. Or just go back and dwell on how you would feel if your cousin, mother, or sister were catcalled or objectified, just like you would feel if you did it to someone else.
Respect personal boundaries
Always be aware of your personal boundaries as well as the personal boundaries of others. Respect someone else’s personal space and physical boundaries, and avoid invading their privacy. Breaching the boundaries can lead to awkward social situations. If someone isn't willing to share information about their sexuality or intimate experiences, don't pry into their personal lives or ask intrusive questions about them. If you keep on nagging them, then you will look like a fathead to them, and they will obviously question your approach.
In a world full of misfits, rebels, nerds, and ordinary folks, there is also the category of ‘pervert men’. People will be quick to point fingers and label you as a slobbering, drooling, bona fide pervert if you do something unnatural. While the ones with outright intention deserve to be called perverts, the ones with no such intention but who indulge in actions that are rather unnatural aren’t necessarily deserving of being labeled so.
Remember that life is all about perceptions. There is a positive perception and a negative perception. Stay away from the aforementioned habits so that you won’t be labeled as a pervert quite easily by others.
Written By - V. Sam Josh.
Edited By - Chirajita Gupta.