We know how men are subjected to extreme stress every day under the expectations and desires of their families and close ones. It's not just that they are molded in a single, uniform way. We talk about equality and freedom, but men are not free to do whatever they freely want.
They are supposed to be strong, indifferent, muscular machines. They only exist to provide for their family, ignoring their passions and dreams. There is only one single purpose and goal in life: to get a job or start a business, get married, have kids, and provide for everyone.
In this changing environment, where the concept of gender is being questioned every day, we need to re-evaluate the idea of man in this new world. We need to understand that manhood isn't just what he can provide. It is also how he survives. We have to take care of the men too.
This article lifts up the aim of providing newer visions to men and also brings up the biggest lies about men.
Lie Number 1: Your manhood is measured by your wealth
Let's dispel an economic myth that claims a person's fundamental worth is always correlated with his money. The concept that a man's worth is determined by his financial account and his goods seems to be promoted by society.
This is particularly widespread in the United States, where society frequently conflates who people are with merely what they do. Indeed, the fact that "So, what do you do for a living?" is a frequent conversation opener and the subject of small talk in the United States serves as convincing proof for this claim.
Personally, we believe that this type of inquiry is not just potentially humiliating (particularly to non-Americans), but also rather superficial and conversationally constricting.
The fundamental reality to remember in this situation is that your character should be used to determine your worth, not your economic worth.
You're on the correct path if you can have a positive influence on others around you and if others would characterize you as enhancing their lives. We're not suggesting you shouldn't put in a lot of effort to support your family financially; after all, hard work is necessary. We're only cautioning you not to become too enmeshed in the "rat race."
Lie Number 2: Man has to fight alone in this battle of Life
What is actually happening in this world? In a nutshell, relying on a support system is not something to be embarrassed of. In reality, far from it! On several levels, this is true.
Speaking socially, having friends is simply important for men. Social interaction and mental health go hand in hand. Technological distractions and public health emergencies like the COVID-19 pandemic, which is currently occurring, make it easier than ever to isolate ourselves.
Having a support network in other contexts will also position you for greater success. Simply put, when trying to solve an issue, don't be scared to ask for assistance. This has two very clear advantages. Firstly, you can use the other person's knowledge and expertise to add to your own skill set for the future. Secondly, if you're polite about it. This can hopefully develop into a relationship where the two of you can continue to rely on each other in the future when issues arise.
Lie Number 3: Men are never emotional to other people
Let's talk about the notion that men should tolerate having less emotional intelligence than women. This one is really just crap, to be honest. The notion that a person must always moderate his emotions, or even have fewer emotions in the first place, is one of the primary roots of the previously mentioned concept of "toxic masculinity".
To explain it as simply as I can, it's good to have feelings and to express them. Your ability to understand and communicate your emotions, or emotional literacy, will improve the effectiveness of your interpersonal relationships.
Men are frequently socialized to believe that emotions are straightforward and that they should only ever experience happiness, sadness, anger, or neutrality. The opposite is true, as you can see. There is a wide range of driving elements hidden behind these oversimplified emotional labels.
Try to take a step back if you're experiencing a certain emotion, especially a strong one, and ask yourself the straightforward question, Why? The critical next step is to express your feelings to someone.
You'll be much more able to get over your emotions if they're bothering you or just have a better understanding of your general emotional composition if you have a sounding board to work through and interpret your feelings.
Lie Number 4: There is only one fixed life path for men
Let's go on to a larger socioeconomic deception, which is that all lives should ideally follow a natural evolution. This progression—excellent education, decent work, a romantic partner, marriage, home, children, vacations, and retirement—is probably known to all of us in some form.
To put it bluntly, this statement is bogus for two reasons: first, not everyone will have the resources to follow this progression given the current economic climate in any country of the world, and second, not everyone will want to follow this progression in the first place.
A guy doesn't necessarily have to toil hard during his younger years in order to accumulate money for a retirement that might not truly occur in the traditional sense since the definition of what constitutes work is changing every day.
Additionally, cultural perceptions of romantic partnerships are changing. It's OK that not every guy will aspire to have a love relationship with someone else or kids. As we've already said, it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, as long as you have a healthy outlet for emotional connection.
Lie Number 5: Objectify women to prove your masculinity
The next major myth about masculinity is related to sex, and, as you might expect, it affects boys a little later in their development than the myth we just discussed. Young, developing boys frequently hear from society that being a man entails seducing or objectifying girls in order to prove their masculinity or self-worth.
In addition to harming males, this naturally promotes a culture of aggression towards women. You may read our response to Gillette's iconic "Better Men" ad from a few years ago for a more in-depth look at our views on the larger conversation around sexual harassment and gender dynamics.
Simply put, everyone should be treated with respect since, regardless of gender, they are all individuals. Therefore, be conscious of your emotional and physical limits and work to become a guy who is respected by everyone as a reliable source of support and solace. In actuality, this description of strength is as accurate as any physical one.
Lie Number 6: Masculinity is defined by a man's muscular strength
Of course, success in this approach isn't dependent just on physical health as a quality. We've previously spoken about fame, intelligence, and general power; another one is fortune. The main lesson is that you shouldn't feel pressured to be "the best" at anything; instead, aim for personal mastery and let your abilities benefit both you and others.
Bottomline
There is no single concept of man in this world. Be your own man. Create your own manhood and don't care about societal expectations. You can never satisfy a society built on greed and inequality. Live your life just as you want to. How good a man you are will only be determined by the care and love that you give to those who depend on you. Being soft and emotional doesn't make you weak. It only proves that you are human too.
Article by: Indarnil Mukherjee
Edited by: Bhagwat Jha